Last song of the night at a wedding

The band or the DJ says this is the last song, and everyone who’s still at the reception heads for the dance floor. For a few minutes the whole party is in one place, and then the lights come up.

It may matter more than you’d think. In a well-known 1996 study, 154 patients having a colonoscopy and 133 having a kidney-stone procedure rated their discomfort every minute. Afterwards, how they remembered the whole thing followed the worst moment and the last three minutes. How long the procedure lasted made no difference.

A hospital procedure isn’t a wedding, of course, but the same thing has turned up for good experiences too. In 2022, researchers combined 174 results from studies of this effect. They found that the high point and the ending together predicted how people remembered an experience about as well as the average of the whole thing did, and that how long it lasted had almost no effect.

Researchers have tested it with music as well. In a 2004 study, people listened to pieces of music and rated how strongly they felt from moment to moment, then said how they remembered each piece as a whole. The strongest moment counted the most in how they remembered it, and the last moment counted too. The length of the piece made very little difference. It was a small study, though, and it was done in a lab.

A great ending probably can’t make up for a flat night. In a 2014 study, 54 students each listened to 11 whole songs. The average of how they felt all the way through each song predicted what they remembered slightly better than the high point and the ending did.

A longer reception may not change how people remember it very much. In a 2008 study, 49 students texted how happy they were on each day of a vacation that lasted about a week. How long the vacation was had no effect on how they remembered it.

None of these studies was done at a wedding. The researchers looked at how people remember experiences in general, and at music in a lab. Still, we think they’re a good reason to choose the last song on purpose, and to put more thought into how the night ends than into adding an extra hour.

Either one can work. Some couples want one more song that everybody sings, and some want a slow last dance.

If you’re leaning toward a sing-along, late in the night may be a good time for one. Researchers who counted how much people sang along to 1,054 songs across 30 nights in five venues in the north of England found that people sang along more to songs played later in the night. Want some more ideas? Check out our post on how to get people to dance at a wedding.

Start with the ending you picture, then pick the song, and think about the few songs that lead into it, too. We’re glad to plan those last few songs with you, so just tell us what you have in mind. If you’d like to see what our musicians already play, you can browse our song list.